


Mine

by scrawly_times



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Elf Sportacus (LazyTown), Fae Robbie Rotten, Idk if sportarobbie will actually end up happening so far this has a good and bad ending, Like REALLY REALLY slightly, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn, Stingy is slightly fae, This is supposed to be Robbie centric I swear, chronically ill Robbie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9388922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrawly_times/pseuds/scrawly_times
Summary: Fae are incredibly possessive of what they claim as Theirs.Sportacus never really fully understood what that meant.





	1. New to Town

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly just a bunch of headcanons thrown together at a wall with a vague semblance of plot

"Alright kids, the sun will be going down soon!” 

Sportacus laughed as the children groaned and whined but eventually trailed off to their houses to get ready for bed. Their basketball game had gone on and on until it was almost time for Sportacus to go to bed. Since it was summertime it was just about getting dark and the perfect time for the kids to go home, eat supper, clean up, and go to sleep nice and early.

Ziggy had to be walked home, so Sportacus took the boy up on his shoulders and jogged there. They had fun playing a quick game of horse racing until Sportacus handed Ziggy off to his tiredly smiling mother. Waving goodbye, the door had hardly closed before Sportacus was turning around in response to a dry voice.

“There's dum-dum flavored drool on your hat.”

Sportacus jumped and blinked in surprise when he saw the town's resident villain standing at the end of the walkway. He reached a hand up reflexively and winced at the slightly sticky damp patch on his beanie.

“He shouldn't have been eating candy while I was running, he could have choked.” Sportacus mused with a look of thought. “What are you doing out so late, Robbie?” He asked, smiling slightly. 

“Walk with me, Sportacus.” Robbie didn't linger, turning around with a flair and waving a hand behind him as soon as the words had left his mouth.

Sportacus still wasn't entirely used to LazyTown and the strange role Robbie Rotten played in it but he was more than accustomed to the man being overly dramatic and slightly less than sincere with everything he did. Now there was a strange aura of seriousness around him that made Sportacus feel on edge. He tapped his crystal once, twice and got a strange feeling of stepping off the deep end of a pool from it. The feeling that you got when you knew you could swim, that it wasn't dangerous, but there was still a sensation of expectancy that didn't really make sense.

It wasn't any sort of danger, that much Sportacus could tell. He hadn't really expected his crystal to give him anything anyways. He just tapped it for comfort most of the time.

Now thoroughly curious Sportacus fell easily into step behind Robbie, despite having much shorter legs.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” He asked curiously.

“Yes.” Again there was no teasing, no exaggerated emphasis to his words. It wasn't even a long over complicated sentence. Just one word.

They continued walking for a few more minutes in awkward silence before Robbie came to an abrupt stop. Sportacus had been walking beside him and kept going for an awkward half step before realizing.

“Yes, Robbie?” He prompted when it seemed like he'd stay silent.

He almost thought he'd have to say something more when Robbie finally spoke.

“What are you doing here?”

It was so quiet that even with his sharp ears Sportacus though he'd misheard. Then his ears picked up  _ exactly _ how silent it was. They'd walked to the edge of the town but it should not be so  _ dark _ yet, much less this  _ silent.  _ Sportacus’s ears strained to hear something. A cricket, the wind,  _ something _ .

“I don't understand.” Sportacus barely restrained a nervous stutter. His hand reached for his crystal and it simply hummed against his hand, no message.

“Let me rephrase.” Robbie looked up from the ground and his eyes were narrowed lazily, like a cat. “What are you doing in My Town,  _ elf _ .”

Sportacus tensed. The emphasis was not missed. His crystal buzzed, still not a warning, still no danger, but caution, so much caution.

Robbie, seeing he'd gotten his attention, straightened up fully for one of the first times to Sportacus’s knowledge. He stood lightly, regally; his eyes continued to watch the sports elf with a half-lidded gaze that made Sportacus’s spine tingle.

Suddenly, many things snapped into place. A layer of Robbie Rotten had peeled itself off and withdrawn. The elf’s eyes widened as he felt his senses shift and clear up. He tensed even more at the clear source of magic standing in front of him.

“My apologies for intruding, I wasn't aware there was a fae in LazyTown.” Sportacus nodded his head respectfully. “I mean no harm. I'm merely here to help and play with the children.”

Elves were, traditionally, stronger than fae by a large margin. But fae were notoriously possessive of whatever they considered theirs, and outright vicious in the ways they protected their belongings. Robbie claiming LazyTown meant bad news to any being who dared bring trouble into his territory. Sportacus understood why his crystal had yet to go off. He certainly had zero plans of harming LazyTown!

“Elves very rarely simply  _ play _ with children.” The fae sneered, and Sportacus could see glints of the Robbie he'd known behind this angry creature.

“I can swear to you, I have no intention of harm on these children.” Sportacus very clearly held his hand over his crystal. He _ would _ swear it, even to a fae. Never in his life would Sportacus willingly or intentionally hurt a child, much less one of his new friends in LazyTown.

Robbie's eyes narrowed further. Sportacus wondered briefly how he could still see.

“Swear it, to cover the whole town, and I will allow you to  _ stay _ .” Without possibility of death, it remained unsaid.

Sportacus knew now that Robbie's ineffective attempts at getting him to leave had been a subtle warning. If Robbie  _ truly _ wanted him gone the fae would have found far worse methods. However even Robbie could not deny that Sportacus was a good influence for LazyTown and to run him out would only harm his territory more than help. Such was a decision that Robbie no doubt despised making but as a fae could not refute. Fae could no more harm their belongings than rip out their own magic.

Despite his sincerity, Sportacus paused. “Is this a Deal?” He asked carefully. He was not naïve enough to walk into a Deal with a fae without forethought.

Robbie snorted. More and more of his normal persona was leaking through. “Not truly. Instead of a Deal, a deal. Not absolutely binding. Still enough to hold both of us to it and piss me off if you break it.” He grinned wider than humanly possible with sharp fangs.

_ ‘And he would probably attempt to destroy me outright for simply harming his town.’ _ Sportacus mused.  _ ‘Breaking a deal, lowercase emphasis or not, would simply be extra encouragement to kill me.’ _

“Then it is a deal.” Sportacus nodded and thought over his words carefully for a minute. “I, Sportacus, do Swear that I intend no harm upon LazyTown or its inhabitants,” The elf had a hand placed carefully to his crystal, where magic radiated from it in a soft buzz that both could feel. “And that I only wish to help them when my assistance is needed or wanted.”

“And in turn I, Robbie Rotten, grant you leave to remain.” The fae tilted his head carefully to the elf as magic buzzed in the air. It wasn't a Deal, or they'd both feel the bind as it struck, but there was still power behind it. With that done Robbie gave him a dark look. “I'm  _ watching _ you, Sportaloser.” With a strange slide of perception Robbie's slouch was back and he was hidden under the guise of a human once more. A snap of his long fingers and he disappeared. Sounds of nighttime filled the air.

Sportacus stood there a few moments as he tried to get his breathing under control. He wasn't in danger, no, but it was risky to cross a fae’s belongings. He was lucky Robbie hadn't flat out attacked him first.

...that and, well, Robbie’s regal bearing had been rather flattering. Sportacus wasn't sure the skipping of his heartbeat was solely from the excitement of making a halfway deal with a fae.


	2. Make A Deal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie's been in town for a few years. Some of the people of LazyTown have long memories. He's not the first fae to be in LazyTown but he IS the first to claim it as His.
> 
> Unfortunately this means making Deals that he can't even twist around for fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a flashback chapter to quite some years before Stephanie arrives.
> 
> More headcanons!

Robbie Rotten was something of an enigma to LazyTown. The man rarely left his home and nobody could ever figure out where he lived in the first place. Following him was impossible; he would turn a corner and just disappear. When he was seen on the streets it was always going from one place to another or doing nothing at all. Just standing around watching the townsfolk go about their days. Though, finding him snoring on a bench was a rather fun game the children often played.

And the junk food. _Oh_ the junk food. The bakery was practically kept in business by his constant trips to buy enough sweets for ten people. Then he'd come back the next day for just as much!

He was always sucking on some sort of candy or nibbling on a pastry. He only offered his loot to the children of LazyTown and, despite how creepy it was that nobody really _knew_ him, none of the parents ever worried about their kids taking candy from this particular stranger.

Perhaps the strangest thing that some few noticed was that he didn't visibly have a job. Some believed him to work from home, while others thought he was rich. It was only the richest family in town that actually knew something of the truth.

The Nískis had been a part of LazyTown since its very founding, along with the Meanswells. Unlike the other family they kept their family history and stories close even when time passed and the tales stopped making sense. While the Meanswells disregarded certain stories and legends about LazyTown because they were too fantastical, the Nískis remembered.

So when one year a Níski child was born and complications arose as he grew older, the Níski family knew who they had to go to.

* * *

Robbie blinked and frowned at the old lady who had walked into the bakery and offered to pay for his order.

“ _Excuse_ me, ma'am, but I'd like to just get my cakes and be on my way.” He sneered at her and tried to hand the cashier his card.

“I insist, Mister Glæpur.” The wrinkled old crone’s hand covered his and she smiled as he stiffened up. “ _I've lived in LazyTown my whole life. You look very much so like Glanni did, many years ago._ ”

“I _t's Rotten._ ” Robbie replied in stumbled Icelandic, nowhere near as smooth as hers.

“Of course, dear.” She pat his hand. “ _I've got something I dearly wish to discuss with you. It is of great importance and only one of your kind can help._ ”

Robbie gave the old woman a measured look. She didn't _seem_ dangerous. He could sense no glamours or spells on her. She smiled at him.

 _‘Of course Glanni let it slip to someone in town that he was fae. Of COURSE he did.’_ Robbie sighed and looked at his cakes dreamily. He'd wanted to get back home quickly so he could try replicating that new Triple Chocolate Mint with Oreo filling.

“ _Of course, I would not dream of keeping one of the huldufólk without recompense._ ” The lady continued, and Robbie was interested. " _If you would allow me I would pay for your pastries here, it is no burden on MY wallet, and I request that you come with me to attend a brief luncheon to hear me out. There is no catch. If you hear us out and do not wish to assist, that is all that will be done. If you choose to assist we will discuss the matter further in privacy._ ”

She finished her selling speech and fell silent, watching him expectantly. For all her fancy words he knew she dearly wanted his help with whatever was going on.

Robbie took another look at his stack of cakes and tapped his lip with one finger. He smirked briefly. “ _Well I can't turn down a free meal._ ” The woman tried to not show her relief but Robbie's keen eyes caught the look on her face before it was masked with cool acceptance.

“Uh. I don't speak Irish, or whatever, but uh, you're kind of holding up the line.” The dull-witted cashier blinked at them, unsure which of them he should talk to.

Robbie wasn't sure who was more offended at “Irish”; him or the crone.

* * *

Robbie dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, careful to not smear his lipstick.

He'd maybe demanded he be allowed to take his cakes back to his lair before attending the “luncheon” in order to have time to freshen up and look a little nicer than his average everyday wear. It had taken almost an hour. He'd snickered at the look of thinly veiled frustration on the old lady’s face.

“My _compliments_ to the _chef~_.” Robbie downright _purred_. He'd recognized the limo that drove him here as belonging to the Níski family and they did _not_ disappoint. Every dish that had come out was some variation of sweet and sugary and he hadn't had such exquisitely prepared food in _ages_.

Now though he was stuffed and ready to hear what the humans had wanted him here to talk about.

“Thank you, Robbie Rotten, for coming to meet with us.” The ‘head of the family’ was a serious looking man who in no way kept his grandmother-in-law from her role as the family's true head. Robbie had forgotten his name sometime after the clafouti. “I'm afraid I don't know the entire scope of the situation, so I'll let my wife explain.”

His _wife_ was a real piece of work. She did more than her husband when it came to running the family. She also knew her savory sweets and Robbie was certain she was the reason their personal chef was so skilled with them. She also had a quick tongue and a harmless exterior that made him cackle internally. He didn't remember her name either. Something truly horrible for a human to have.

The brunette took a calm breath and began, hands folded neatly on the table in front of her.

“The Níski family has been in LazyTown since its founding. Our lineage goes back generations and we can trace it back several hundred years. It has come to our attention that a certain contributor to our pedigree has caused a recent resurgence in… inhuman traits.”

Robbie frowned thoughtfully, steepling his fingers while he lounged in the luxurious chair. He eyed a cream tart. “Since you obviously know _my_ heritage I'm assuming I'm here because, essentially, some old fae blood in your family tree popped up and is causing problems. Am I right?” He raised a finely sculpted eyebrow.

“Exactly.” She said. Her lips pressed into a thin line.

Possessia! That was it. That was her name. Such a weird name for a human.

“What precisely _are_ these ‘inhuman traits’? I can't do much at all for any physical problems that can't be solved by human surgery-”

“That's not it at all,” Possessia interrupted. “It's… my son. He just recently turned four years old. We thought he was simply a little spoiled at first, but it's continued escalating until we had no idea what to do. He's chased off so many nannies and minders that we just don't know what to do. _We_ certainly have no idea how to handle him.”

She looked tired. Exhausted, even, with a tinge of despair.

“Are you _certain_ it's a fae thing?” Robbie said suspiciously. “Sometimes kids are just plain brats and that's it.”

“Ah but you see, dear Mister Rotten, these young ones don't know our family history as well as I do.” The old woman hobbled in with her cane. She hadn't eaten with them. “The Nískis have always been named after a certain trait. My name is Parsimony. My granddaughter's name is Possessia. My great-grandson is named Stingy. All synonyms for a _very_ fae trait indeed, that has a unique habit of popping up in this family at inhuman levels every few generations.” She waved her cane at him as his eyes widened in understanding.

“Fae possessiveness.” Robbie muttered, rubbing his chin. “Of _course_. No human child would learn how to manage the possessive instincts fae are taught to. It's so much more than merely being greedy, but working purely on instinct a human child would turn into… quite the little terror.” Parsimony smiled crookedly.

“Yes, I'd heard that the particularly ‘mad’ members of our bloodline who inherited those genes eventually found instruction from a fae. And I knew immediately that who better to approach on such a matter than LazyTown’s fae himself?”

 _‘Oh, flattery will get you everywhere you crazy old coot.’_ Robbie closed his eyes and hummed, basking in the acknowledgement that LazyTown was His.

Could he teach a child? For that matter could he even stand being around a wild, unmanageable, fae-instinct driven child? It would be immensely difficult to get a human _toddler_ to think past basic wants and needs to any form of higher thought processes. This would be a _long time Deal_ that he would have to keep up with for probably a large part of the kid’s - Sticky? No, Stingy, the whole family theme going on - life up until he was a functioning adult with control over his instincts.

What kind of bullshit even was this? Inheriting fae possessiveness was perhaps the worst throwback heritage Robbie had ever heard of. That wasn't even a _power_ , mostly just a territorial drive to keep and protect. Absolutely useless to a human with no magic to back it up.

After a few minutes of hearing them squirm Robbie opened his eyes lazily, and slid his outer glamours off. They all stiffened at the instinctual hair raising sensation of _fae_. Parsimony, surprisingly, merely looked him over curiously as their very perception of him changed now that his nonhuman side was so much more evident.

“I've considered your predicament. I have no desire to teach some snot nosed _brat_ -” They grew panicked and he held a hand up. “Which means whatever I receive in return will have to be _very much so worth it_. Not to mention that this will take up a _great deal_ of my time and I'm a _very_ busy man. Or, well, fae. You get the gist.” He picked up his glass of sparkling wine and sipped it. “This isn't just a ‘come in for tutoring sessions every week for a few months’ situation either.” He didn't quite sneer at them, but gave them a serious look to make sure they understood _exactly_ how big this Deal was. They were His People in His Town so cheating them in a Deal was not really an option, but they didn't know that, and if they ever came into contact with another fae they'd be sorely unprepared. “This will require _years_ of my time to ensure the proper teachings have been passed on.” The humans all paled slightly. Ah, good, so they weren't idiots.

“Perhaps we… downsize this.” Possessia recovered first, quick mind working fast. “Instead of doing it all at once, we… simplify. Say we start with five lessons. Once those have passed, we will extend.”

Robbie was thrilled. That was actually quite clever. He was the fae of LazyTown, he wasn't exactly _going_ anywhere, so they had no need to worry about him skipping town. And they would have more time to contemplate their sides of Deals before agreeing to them. There were innumerable advantages to this sort of system.

There were also, of course, several disadvantages. But Robbie didn't bother flicking through them mentally like he wanted to. They were His People. His fae urge to take advantage of the Deal settled down at the reminder.

“That will be satisfactory.” Robbie grinned impossibly wide and felt his teeth stretch into fangs. “I will return tomorrow at this time to discuss the finalities. For now I should make my leave. Thank you for this _delicious_ meal.” Robbie stood up, nodding his head. He snapped his fingers and the fae was gone.

The Níski family nearly fell apart at the release of tension. They were still for one moment, Possessia about to speak, when Robbie snapped back in.

He picked up the cream tart, winked, and disappeared again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some personal theories of my own because Stingy and Robbie being close buds is hella my thing. The follow up of this you'll see Stingy being a horrible little snit... he'll make his canon self seem tame in comparison.
> 
> While trying to find a last name for Stingy I came upon his name in the Icelandic version and took Níski from that.


	3. Sportacus is Concern™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Ziggy want to trade candy for help with his homework? As rudimentary as this is why does a six year old know about making Deals with the resident fae when he doesn't even know about the fae part?!!!
> 
> Sportacus is given a frighten
> 
> He do a worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot to saintdiabolus on tumblr for helping me think of ideas for future chapters! This chapter in particular was encouraged by her thoughts when I was brainstorming.
> 
> I'm going to be switching back and forth between flashback chapters and current time in order to give some background info and keep the plot moving some at the same time, because worldbuilding is my shit
> 
> MAJOR EDIT: okay i dun goofed and split up this chapter into two parts, intending to post the second part as chapter 5... which obviously didn't happen. whoop. um. anyways, here you go. I added in the second part into this chapter. cute kids!

“What’ve you got there, Ziggy?” Sportacus intercepted the 6 year old walking around the park alone. “You know your mom doesn't like you out in town by yourself.”

“Sportacus!” The boy grinned and hefted up a bag of candy, brandishing it like a trophy. “I'm looking for Robbie!”

“And why is that?” Sportacus knelt down in front of Ziggy so that he wasn't towering over him.

“Pixel says if- if you trade Robbie some candy he'll help you out with stuff.” Ziggy looked up at his hero with big eyes. “And I have this BIG list of stuff I gotta write for class, but I don't really get how to do it… and Robbie's SUPER smart! He helps Pixel out with his computers all the time!”

Sportacus had frozen a little bit as Ziggy began. The children knew about making Deals with Robbie? No, they couldn't know the _importance_ of it, they probably considered it normal bargaining. They must have no clue Robbie was fae.

“I could help you with your list, Ziggy, or one of the other kids.” Sportacus offered gently. He didn't want to imply that Robbie was a bad choice, but he didn't think the fae would enjoy walking a six year old through writing something for school.

“But…” Ziggy pouted. “I want _Robbie_ to help me…”

Sportacus was confused. He'd thought Robbie didn't get along with the children. Why did Ziggy seem so intent on getting his help?

“I'm just worried Robbie may not…” The elf hesitated at the look in the toddler's eyes. “...Feel _up_ to helping you with your list. He's rather grouchy.”

“Nuh uh! He helps Pixel with stuff _all_ the time and he lets Trixie have a sleepover whenever she wants and him and Stingy are _real_ close and they talk and do stuff _all the time_ and-”

“Woah woah there, slow down!” Sportacus joked, trying to control his rising confusion. “He really does all that? I've never noticed before.” When did all of this stuff even happen? Sportacus was hard pressed to even _see_ Robbie when the fae wasn't pulling some sort of scheme. Was Robbie avoiding him?

 _‘...Right. I'm an elf in His Town who's best friends with children that, apparently, he likes.’_ Sportacus would bet Robbie wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. While he'd certainly kept to his side of the deal and not directly tried to make Sportacus leave, disrupting the elf’s life in LazyTown and trying to make him _want_ to leave was apparently okay.

Sportacus somewhat enjoyed the challenge in all honesty. Especially when Robbie would dress up in costumes and inevitably end up in some sort of game with-

Sportacus could have smacked himself, if Ziggy hadn't been there. It had been right in front of his face this whole time! Robbie did try to make life difficult for Sportacus but he almost never harmed the children; or at least not intentionally. He even seemed to enjoy the games that didn't involve moving around too much.

Ziggy bit his lip and rocked on his feet in front of him and Sportacus realized he'd been silent for a good minute.

“Ziggy?” He prompted.

“Dunno.” The child burst out, lip wobbling. “They always used to do stuff with him. _Always_. And since you've been here they haven't as much and I thought I could do stuff with him now.”

Sportacus smiled softly at Ziggy, finally understanding.

“Ziggy, are you maybe a little jealous that they get to spend time with Robbie and you haven't?”

“It's not fair! They're _older_ than me, they've been friends with him since before I was _born!_ It's not fair that they always kept him busy.” He was full on pouting now. “But now they haven't been doing stuff with him as much and I wanna do stuff and I really _do_ need help with my list…”

“Ziggy I'm sure they didn't know you wanted to spend time with Robbie, otherwise they would have found things to do that included you. You're just a little young, and newer.” He ruffled Ziggy’s hair. “Have you noticed Stephanie doesn't spend any time with Robbie either? It's probably because she's new too. And I don't think Robbie even _likes_ me.” Sportacus grinned a little bit.

Ziggy pursed his lips, thinking with a pout still on his face. “...yeah, I guess. But now I feel kinda bad.”

“Why's that?”

“Everyone else always had a lot of fun with Robbie.” Ziggy blinked up at him innocently, unaware of Sportacus’s bemusement. “I always wanted to have the same fun but I didn't think about that you guys were missing out too.”

Sportacus laughed a little, shaking his head. “Honestly Ziggy, I _really_ don't think Robbie likes me. I'd love to be friends with him but it's something he'll have to come to me with. In the meantime…” Sportacus hummed dramatically. “Maybe Stephanie would want to help you with your list? You two _are_ the newest kids around.”

Ziggy lit up at the idea of bonding with a friend who might feel left out like he did. “That's a great idea, Sportacus! Thanks a lot! Stephanie might even want to share my candy!”

He laughed again. “Maybe she will! Just try to not eat too much at once. Let me walk you to her uncle's house.” Ziggy beamed. “Only, promise me one thing.”

“Yeah, Sportacus?” Ziggy blinked at him curiously.

“You should tell the others about how you feel. I'm sure they have no idea that you've felt left out.” Sportacus patted the toddler's shoulder before hopping to his feet.

“Hmm… okay, Sportacus. I promise I will.”

“Perfect! I'm sure everything will work out just fine.” Sportacus smiled at him, mustache wiggling. “Do you want to race to Stephanie's house? This time we can _both_ be racehorses.”

“Yeah!!"

* * *

Stephanie was all too pleased to help Ziggy do his list; she actually had to write a short essay herself for a summer project. Sportacus had to leave to go help someone in trouble though so the two were left alone at the kitchen table as they got started.

“Okay, Ziggy, the first step of writing is making sure you have a sharpened pencil,” Stephanie held up her sparkly, glittery pink pencil. “And plenty of paper. Did you bring any?”

“Ah-! ...No.” Ziggy fidgeted. She giggled.

“It's alright, I have lots.” She handed him a pencil that wasn't so glittery and a piece of paper.

“Why can't I write it in crayon? It would be way more colorful that way!” Ziggy held the pencil clumsily. He _was_ six years old.

“I used to try to write my papers in crayons, but the teacher got mad at me.” Stephanie informed him. “Then I tried doing it in color pencil, but she still got mad. _Then_ I tried doing it in pen and it leaked all through the paper.” She said conspiratorially. “So I've always used normal pencils ever since. Besides, you can erase pencils in case you make a mistake!”

“That's true! Okay, what next?” Ziggy asked.

“Well first we gotta know what you're supposed to be writing. My paper has to be about something I like doing, but I have _no_ idea how to do the T chart thing I'm supposed to.” She looked upset. “My teachers before never had me do it! I meant to ask the teacher before break but I forgot and now I'm just confused.”

Ziggy was struck with the inkling of an idea. He was briefly distracted when Stephanie asked him again what he was supposed to be writing.

“A list! A list of… of… oh no, I forgot!” Ziggy held the pencil tightly with both hands nervously. “I left my paper with the instructions at home!”

Stephanie sighed. “It's okay Ziggy, we'll just have to go get it. I needed a break from trying to figure this out anyways, I must've been staring at blank paper for an _hour_ before you and Sportacus got here.” She began to pick up her blank papers and slide them into a folder. “We can just work at your house! Maybe we'll see someone else and I can ask them if they know how to make a T chart.”

On the way to Ziggy’s house they found Trixie and Stingy lazing around the soccer field boredly.

“What're you guys up to?” Trixie pointed to Stephanie's folders and pencil box.

“I've gotta write an essay for school and Ziggy’s gotta write some sort of list, but he forgot his instructions and we're going to go work on them at his house.” Stephanie explained. “I'm kind of curious though. My teachers don't want us getting rusty over break so they give us projects to do, but you guys still have school? Don't you get a summer vacation?”

“We do but  _ our _ school only has a few students. Most of the kids in town get homeschooled and there aren't even very many others.  _ I HAD  _ private tutors but  _ my _ parents wanted me to meet other kids.” Stingy sniffed.

“We don't really get long vacations, but that's because we don't do much. People come in to teach different classes and we usually only do one subject a day. Pixel’s the oldest so he's taking some of his stuff online.” Trixie scuffed her shoe on the ground. “He's actually working on some of that stuff right now and we got bored watching him do math.”

“I've got to work on _ my _ essay anyways.” Stingy sighed and frowned. “I've got to read this book first, though, and I didn't understand some of it. Plus the instructions for the essay are complicated.”

“Tell me about it!” Trixie groaned. “The teacher told me to use a  _ dictionary _ , blegh!” She stuck her tongue out like it was offensive. “But I don't know how! And he just got mad at me and wouldn't explain!”

“That's mean of him,” Stephanie said. “Maybe we can all help each other work on our projects? I mean we can still do them ourselves, but we can hang out at Ziggy’s house while we work on them and ask each other if we need help!”

“That sounds like a good idea!” Trixie smirked. “ _ Way _ funner than watching Pixel do _ math _ .”

* * *

”Do _ any _ of you know how to do a T chart?” Stephanie groaned, chewing on a piece of taffy. She was laying hanging upside down from Ziggy’s bed and trying to get the blood rushing to her head. Maybe then she'd figure it out.

They'd been nibbling on Ziggy’s candies a bit as they worked. Or tried to. Ziggy’s work was easy enough: he had to write a list of vocabulary words and what they meant. It was plenty easy enough for them to help with since they were all much older than him. They actually had fun helping him look the words up and Stephanie even got to show Trixie how to use a dictionary.

It was everyone _ else’s _ stuff that was turning out to be hard.

Stingy’s book was really old and they didn't understand a lot of the phrases. Trying to look them up in the dictionary didn't help at _ all _ . He was determined to actually read his book through, but it was only confusing him. Last Stephanie saw he'd buried his face into his pile of pillows on the floor.

Trixie just didn't _ want _ to do her own paper, even knowing how to use the dictionary now. She said she couldn't focus because her book was boring. Stephanie tried convincing her to do it but then they'd _ both  _ gotten distracted from working. Trixie was currently flipping through their dictionary out of boredom and finding funny words.

A chorus of “no”s met Stephanie's ears and she groaned again, throwing her arm over her face. One of them was muffled; Stingy must still be facedown in a pillow.

“I'm _ never _ going to get this essay done.” She moaned.

“I'm never going to get mine done either.” Trixie said, oddly cheerful. Steph opened her eyes and tried giving her a disappointed look. Being upside down just made her dizzy though and she closed her eyes again.

Ziggy looked up from his list and frowned. “ _ None _ of us are going to get anything done at this rate! Oh no, what if we don't finish them in time? I have to give mine to the teacher tomorrow!” He fretted.

“I'm sure you can get it done in time, Ziggy.” Steph reassured. “Especially if Trixie actually helps you use the dictionary instead of  _ hogging _ it for no reason.”

“I'm _ bored! _ ” Trixie defended.

While she and Stephanie started arguing, Ziggy started thinking. What was that thought he'd had earlier?

“What if we ask Robbie for help?” He spoke up, finally remembering.

“That's a great idea!” Trixie immediately said gleefully. 

“What will we give him though?” Stingy pulled his face up from the pillows.

“Wait,  _ Robbie Rotten? _ Why do you guys want _ his _ help? And what's this about  _ giving _ him something?” Stephanie was confused. 

“That's right, you wouldn't know! He's been _ really _ closed in ever since Sportacus got here.” Trixie was grinning. Stephanie had learned to not really trust that grin.

“Robbie will help with _ anything _ if you _ give him _ something in return.” Stingy said primly. 

“Like candy!” Ziggy cheered. He'd get to use his plan after all!

“That should definitely work.” Stingy nodded with authority.

“Stingy always knows what won't work or not.” Trixie whispered to Stephanie, since they were close to each other. “I don't know how he does it.”

“So… wait, you guys do this often? Just give Robbie candy for help on homework?” Stephanie rolled over so she wasn't upside down, propping herself on her elbows. “I don't know… I always thought he was a total meanie. He's always trying to chase Sportacus out of town.”

“ _ His _ Town.” Stingy muttered, but none of them really heard him. 

Trixie shrugged. “Like I said: he's been a total shut in ever since Sportacus came to town. Which was right after you came, so you never got to know him before.”

Stephanie nodded. It  _ did _ make sense. “I guess we can try asking Robbie for help if you guys want to.” Besides she ought to make friends with Robbie herself and figure out why he and Sportacus didn't get along. Sportacus was great! If Robbie was nice too, she didn't understand why Robbie didn't like him.

“Great!” Trixie clapped her hands and jumped up, closing the dictionary and picking it up. “Let's go!”

“Shh!” Ziggy whispered, holding a finger to his lips. They all winced. His mom had worked late the night before and was napping. They'd been trying to stay quiet and not wake her up, but they forgot about it while talking.

“Not so fast!” Stingy whispered once they all started picking up their things. “Do  _ we _ have _ enough _ candy?”

“I dunno. I think so?” Ziggy picked up his bag and started piling sweets back into it. Stingy shook his head. 

“Not for all  _ four  _ of us, it isn't. Maybe for two of us but not all four. Especially because _ my _ essay is complicated.” He put his hands on his hips and frowned thoughtfully. “We can say we'll help him carry his stuff next time he goes grocery shopping  _ and _ the candy. Candy for now, help for later.” He nodded in satisfaction. “ _ That _ should work.”

“It sounds fun too!” Stephanie added. “Grocery shopping can be a lot of fun when you're with friends.”

“Yeah and we’ve helped him with groceries before.” Trixie nodded and then whispered. “Plus, he always makes some sort of brownies or cookies or something after he goes shopping and he pretends he doesn't want us sneaking a few, but he _ totally _ makes them just for us.”

Stephanie giggled at the thought of Robbie in a silly apron and chef's hat, waving a batter covered spoon at them and whining overdramatically.

“Let's go then! Do you guys know how to find him?” She put her papers into a stack and put them back into her folder. 

“Pixel messages him a lot.” Stingy said. “ _ I  _ know where his Home is though.”

“I do  _ too _ Stingy, the only ones who don't are Ziggy and Stephanie.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Come to think of, why _ haven't _ we shown Ziggy how to get there?”

Nobody answered as they were now tiptoeing past Ms. Carson’s room. Once they'd snuck through the kitchen (dodging a squeaky floorboard) and the living room they ran outside towards the edge of town.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a delicate balance of me trying to write a child and adult interacting while also trying to remember what kind of projects a 6 year old may be assigned... I was kind of an abnormal child and more similar to an unholy fusion of Stephanie and Trixie at that age


	4. Robbie Regrets Many Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Children are hard to deal with. Just-very-slightly-fae children are even harder. Robbie is regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback chapter again! Finish up some of the worldbuilding here and show that uh. Robbie REALLY did not like Stingy at first, which is understandable, considering take the most spoiled child you can think of and combine it with magic genes and a REALLY piercing scream.

Robbie took a step into the room and grimaced at the piles of stuff everywhere. He barely made it one step before he heard an angry shriek.

“Oh this is going to be _aggravating_.”

Robbie gave the fuming toddler (amidst a pile of stuff, of course) a dry look. His lack of reaction earned Stingy’s displeasure in the form of an even louder scream. Robbie rubbed a finger in his right ear. _‘Gonna have to invest in earplugs.’_

“Alright, listen up brat.” Robbie walked into the room, sidestepping randomly piled objects and ignoring the increasingly hysterical tantrum going on. “I'm here because your _parents_ care about you _so much_ they're risking making a Deal with me. _You're_ at the very _least_ going to shut up and listen for _one. Fucking. Minute._ ” Thoroughly aggravated by the screams, Robbie slipped off his human glamour and stomped the floor harshly. A stream of magic whipped to his mouth and taped it shut.

The brat’s recent maid fretted alongside his mother from the doorway. They made some sort of worried noises before Robbie waved their concerns off.

The toddler sat in his pile of stuff, mouth taped shut, and stared up at the fae with wide, astonished eyes. He was filthy and barely dressed, probably due to the nursemaid being unable to even enter the room. This was just _ridiculous_.

“Right. First lesson.” Robbie reached down and plucked a shiny necklace from a nearby pile. The toddler made muffled shrieking sounds. “Never Claim what you can't _keep_.”

Robbie turned around and snapped his fingers, letting the gag disappear as he walked out of the child's room.

Screams and sounds of one _hell_ of a temper tantrum immediately filled the air. Fortunately the toddler’s attempt at waddling after ‘his’ necklace were stymied by his own piles of junk and the door closing.

“This lesson is just as much yours as it is his.” Robbie dropped the necklace into Possessia’s hand. The woman was staring at him somewhat shocked, as if unsure how to take what had just happened. “He doesn't like to leave his room, right?” She shook her head. “That's because it's His. I wouldn't go in there unless invited if it weren't for that fact that I need to get these lessons across. With even normal kids it's best to give them their own space and not intrude. With a fae child that's doubly so important. If he wants anything, anything at _all,_ you make sure _he_ comes _out_ instead of going to him. And don't _give in_ to him, for fucks’ sake.” Robbie threw up his hands. “If he tries to make something His that _isn't_ make sure he knows that it's _not_. Don't just let him take it.”

Robbie grumbled a few things to himself, realized his fae side was still showing, and slipped his human glamour on. The two ladies relaxed immediately.

That… hmm. Robbie began to pace in the hallway, ignoring the ongoing tantrum as the other two flinched here and there.

“When he screams,” Robbie held up a finger. “You keep flinching. When you welcomed me into the mansion you were willing to do literally anything to correct his behavior, regardless of how much it upsets him.” He held up a second finger. “Yet now you're putty in his hands. Now why is that?”

Possessia looked astonished and frowned in thought. “I- I don't know. Hearing him cry… it's like I'd do anything to make him stop.” Understanding filled her eyes. “I've been terrorized by my own son.” She said somewhat hysterically, laughing breathily. The maid put a hand on her shoulder as Possessia began to laugh louder.

Robbie scowled and waved a hand. “Yes yes, a fae’s mere presence will set humans on edge. You're lucky _I'm_ not even fully fae, or you'd have all been flat out terrified every time I dropped my glamour. Your son's managed to inherit a slight, _very_ slight,” He emphasised. “Bit of that presence. Enough that when he's upset, apparently you full blooded humans want to do anything to make him stop throwing a tantrum.” Robbie looked around the hallway and nodded. “A simple fix. A few wards to keep his screams restrained to his room, some enchantments to protect you from the influence…” Robbie rubbed his chin and muttered to himself.

“Will this cost much?” She straightened up, chin held stiffly. It was obvious she was struggling to not let her son’s tantrum affect her

“Yes, technically. However…” He hummed and snagged the necklace back. “This isn't any kind of fancy important heirloom, is it?”

“No, it's-”

“Don't care. Give me a set of bracelets or earrings to match it and I'll set up a few spells to keep those tantrums from affecting you. In return, once my lessons have concluded or when I decide he's got the self control required to not abuse that scream of his, I'll take these back with the accumulated magic stored in them.” Also, that necklace was rather charming. Robbie _wanted_ it. He needed to exercise control over his own fae instincts every now and then, after all, and waiting a few years to get something was a good way to practice patience.

“And the… wards?” Possessia asked delicately.

“Later.” He waved a hand. “I believe we have a dinner to get to. Let him scream his head off a bit for the moment.”

Part of their Deal was that every time he came to their mansion for a lesson he would receive a full meal courtesy of their _top notch_ chef. Now _that_ alone was nearly worth the stress of child management. Robbie just about drooled just _thinking_ about the caramel glazed roast.

“Of course.” Possessia collected herself rather admirably, especially for still being within hearing range of those horrid shrieks. Robbie honestly pitied them. Hopefully they had earplugs. “Right this way, Mr. Rotten.”

* * *

”Are you going to listen now?” Robbie deadpanned.

Stingy looked up at him with an angry face and puffy red eyes. It was full of an admirable amount of despisal for a four year old. Robbie wondered if those fae genes had affected his development any.

The kid had obviously spent the last two days in a long, drawn out tantrum. Robbie had handed off the nicely enchanted necklace and earrings off to Mrs. Níski but _yeesh_ he was definitely putting those wards up today before dinner. The mansion _echoed_ almost as horribly as his tunnels.

“Of _course_ you're not, you're four years old. _Four!_ Most fae learn a lot of this stuff as infants _before_ they become spoiled little snits. You can't even understand anything I'm saying, can you?” Robbie sighed. “Guess we're just going to have to make this up as we go along.”

He slid his human glamour off and sat down on the floor. Stingy immediately both made an upset noise and stared at him with wonderment.

“Oh you can feel that, can you?” Robbie waved a hand and formed a small wisp. “Do you see this? _Mine_.” He held it out of Stingy’s reach as the toddler reached out for it.

The toddler gaped, unable to process anyone denying him something. His face curled up into a nasty baby scowl.

“MINE!” He screamed and reached out again. He seemed baffled when Robbie merely held it further out of reach.

“Just as I'd thought. How utterly disgusting. Why am I doing this.” Robbie stared at the smelly human child with disdain. “Ugh. Right. A Deal… _MINE!_ ”

Robbie accentuated the word with a flare of magic that reached out from the wisp and hit Stingy’s reaching fingers. He yelled and began to howl, tears immediately falling down his face. Robbie rolled his eyes.

“Lesson number two, I guess. Maybe if something isn't yours it's for a _reason_.” Robbie pulled his hands apart and made two wisps. “Oh hush that didn't even burn, it just buzzed you a little bit. Not even a shock. You're just angry about it. Now see these two? Mine.”

Stingy reached out again and Robbie repeated.

The angry wailing started up again. Robbie groaned.

“Worst. Deal. Ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Robbie
> 
> Anyways next chapter we'll get to see a sharp contrast between Stingy then and Stingy now. It'll be fun! And cute. The next chapter is overrun with cute kids. I wanted this to be a Robbie centric story and I promise it will be but. Just. The kids take over occasionally.
> 
> In unrelated news I had a fun dream where I was stealing food from a store with Hermione and I asked if Harry Potter wanted to, and I quote, "Hang with us in the apocalypse"
> 
> Woke up at 2:30AM from that dream. Decided I might as well post this since I'm not getting back to sleep


	5. Robbie pls love ur kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie gets a bunch of kids bothering him for a deal and pretends he isn't a dad when he really is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned how fucking much I love you guys for showing interest in this? Ilu guys, rly
> 
> Little bit of Robbie angsting like a fucking dork because he won't just fucking talk to Sportacus like an adult

What did that elf think he was doing in His Town?

Robbie glared out his spyglass at the image of Sportaloser jogging around, kept busy by an inane series of troubles that absolutely _required_ his attention. It made Robbie's skin crawl.

Had LazyTown been that… _terrible_ under his watch? Having an elf running around helping people in His Town was so _frustrating_ but he knew LazyTown was doing much better with a more active minder.

But that was the _problem_.

His fae instincts screamed and curdled sourly inside him for letting an _elf_ do _His_ job. It almost physically hurt, a deep ache inside his chest, that he couldn't even care for his own Territory. That this elf was flipping around and racking up, of all things, a _Debt_. Sportashort doing His job was not _right_. Robbie felt like he _owed_ him for all of this.

_Like hell he did._

Robbie never before wanted to rip out his fae side and punt it down a ravine more than he ever had in the past few weeks. His instincts had been driving him _insane_.

Robbie threw his screwdriver aside with a groan when loud knocking echoed through his lair. Who would be bothering him at this time of the- oh. It was the middle of the day. Mark that another night lost with zero sleep.

“What do you want?” He yelled grouchily, standing up from a workbench and cracking his back slowly. With each crack and snap he winced until he'd managed to straighten up all the way.

“A deal!” A familiar child's voice called from the entry hatch. Robbie couldn't stop a small victorious grin. Even Sportahelp was no match for a fae’s sheer usefulness. His kids still needed him.

….he'd analyze that thought in detail later.

Of all the things he'd expected to see, the _entire gaggle_ of kids - including the new Pink Girl - standing outside his lair with books, pencils, and paper wasn't exactly one of them. (Even Pixel was there, since they’d asked him if he wanted to come too. He didn’t really need help but hanging out with friends was always fun, even if they were all working.)

“...Pink Girl too?” Robbie asked carefully. She was Sportahoribble’s favorite. He wasn't sure he wanted to be making deals with her. The elf might have something to say about it.

“If you're okay with it.” She smiled brightly at the periscope. Robbie cringed. How _considerate_. Ew.

“What's the deal?” He said suspiciously. Stingy stepped forwards to offer it himself and Robbie felt a bit of pride. He always knew what he was doing and was setting a good standard for the other children. He'd taught the brat well.

“This candy now, for helping _us_ with our homework, and _we_ help you with your shopping on your next grocery trip.” Stingy sounded perfectly casually formal, the exact tone a fae should use when making a deal with another fae he was familiar with. Robbie took a moment to appreciate it. Of course if this was a Deal it would be a much more formal situation. Deals and deals were very different and had their own protocols.

Robbie hemmed and hawed audibly, considering it. He… _enjoyed_ spending time with his brats. It was the presence of Pink Girl that was making him hesitate. If the elf found out about a deal between him and the children he might panic. Robbie couldn't deny that Sportahero really cared about the children. He _did_ Swear to their safety.

It was only a simple deal, that Robbie had done many times before with his brats, but the elf might think he'd been doing actual Deals with them. _Then_ where would he be? With a panicked elf out of his depth in His Town and probably thinking he was using the children for something. Like he'd _ever_ hurt His brats-

Oh fuck. Robbie froze. This was like claiming LazyTown all over again. One minute everything was normal and the next he wanted to shove his head down a woodchipper. His brats, His brats…

“They're My brats, in My Town.” Robbie said tentatively, testing out the words. They sounded strange out loud.

“Robbie?” The call from up the hatch reminded him he was in the middle of something. He would have to have his internal crisis over this later. If ever. Actually, no, he was going to try to ignore it for a long time and never ever think about it. Ever.

“One condition!” He yelled up. “Don't tell _Sportastink_ about it. If he asks, fine, whatever, but don't just tell him.” He could at least _try_ to mitigate any possible damage from this. It wasn’t like he ever had a reason to ask if Pink Girl had ever made a deal with him. She seemed to deliberate it and eventually nodded.

“Okay, sure. Wouldn’t want to ruin your good- or uh, _bad_ reputation.” She smiled again and Robbie rolled his eyes.

“Darn right!” He huffed, climbing up the ladder and unlocking the hatch. “Now watch your step, Pink Girl, I don’t want Sportalurk bothering me because you broke a leg in My Home.” He pushed the hatch up and the kids outside helped lift it, already knowing it was rather heavy from below.

They all followed him down the chute, giggling and laughing like the children they were. Robbie’s head pounded from his lack of sleep the past few days. He sighed when he landed in his chair, snapping his fingers.

His chair moved aside and an air mattress zoomed out of a nearby corner, inflating rapidly just before the children all landed on it. They laughed even louder as they piled on top of each other.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, at least keep it _down_ a bit.” Robbie grumbled, rubbing his forehead. To their credit they changed to snickering and muffling their giggles. “Alright, come on, show me the loot.”

Stingy rolled out of the awkward pile, taking Ziggy’s bag of candy with him. He presented it and the fae snatched it eagerly.

“Lots of lollipops, gotta give the brat kudos for sticking to a theme, some dum-dums, a few toffees, Laffy Taffy, ohhh is that a caramel apple sucker..?” Robbie ruffled through it for a bit more before nodding. “Satisfactory. My next shopping day isn’t for another week or so, I’ll let you all know the day before. Now show me what homework you all have got. Deal?”

“Deal!” The kids echoed, Stephanie and Ziggy a few beats behind the others.

The atmosphere changed, the ‘formality’ dealt with. Robbie didn’t necessarily _have_ to be so stringent about following all the formalities but it… it was something of a comfort to him. If he did a favor for someone else without even framing it _like_ an actual Deal he could feel his fae instincts screaming and itching under his skin. Stingy didn’t have the same problem, but Robbie had taught him the ‘correct’ way to do things and the child was nothing if not dedicated to doing things _right_.

Then when the other kids in town started to make small deals and bargains with him they’d just done what Stingy did, since he’d known Robbie the longest. Robbie knew that this was certainly _not_ going to help Sportafloop from worrying about the kids but he couldn’t bring himself to stop the familiar habits.

Pixel settled himself comfortably on the air mattress with his laptop and notepad. Trixie flopped down next to him, getting a disapproving look from Stephanie, while the rest gathered around Robbie's chair.

“Alright, we'll start with-”

“Me!” Stingy demanded, climbing up to sit on the arm of the orange armchair. Robbie rolled his eyes.

“Yeah sure, fine- what are you doing?” Ziggy was climbing into his _lap_. His knees were so boney there was no _way_ this was comfortable for him. Stephanie was following their lead and was getting on the other arm of the chair. “Don't drop that dictionary on me, brat, or you'll probably, I don't know, break my thigh.”

“I'll be careful!” Ziggy beamed up at him. Robbie’s eye twitched.

“...Sure. Don't break my chair.” He warned the two kids on either side. “Right, what's the problem you're having?”

“I don't understand what this book is talking about, I've never heard these phrases before…”

* * *

Stephanie yawned and stretched. They'd been working for a while now and she was almost done with her rough draft! Robbie _had_ known how to make a T chart, and once she was shown how to use it Stephanie could easily start working by herself. He'd still checked in on her progress every now and then in between her and the others.

Pixel had asked a few questions here and there (from what Stephanie understood, he was asking about math _way_ more complicated than he was supposed to be working on and Robbie seemed very pleased about it) but Stingy did end up needing the help most of all. Even Robbie sometimes had to just puzzle through the book's weird writing. Ziggy and Trixie mostly just needed reminders to keep on track and work, along with dictionary help.

All in all, Stephanie found that she'd enjoyed the afternoon. Even though sitting around working on an essay wasn't her idea of fun it hadn't been _boring_. Robbie wasn't even as mean as he usually was. Stephanie chalked it up to Sportacus not being there. When she thought about it, she'd never really seen Robbie when Sportacus wasn't around somewhere.

It really confused the eight year old. Sportacus was great! He was nice, fun, and always just wanted them to try their best. Stephanie couldn't even begin to _describe_ how great he was!

And yet, for some reason, Robbie _really_ didn't like him. Stephanie would maybe even say he _hated_ her friend. It just didn't make sense. Why would anyone _hate_ Sportacus?

“You brats should probably be getting home.” Robbie glanced at a clock. “Don't want anyone wondering where you toddled off to.” He yawned, stretching and carefully cracking his back. “You five have run me ragged trying to handle all of you at once. Go on, get. Shoo.” He slouched deep into his chair wearily.

“Bye Robbie! Thank you for the help!” The kids all called out in different ways as they left, showing Ziggy and Stephanie how to go up the chute. Ziggy even hugged him before he followed them. Robbie sputtered incoherently and Stingy even ran in close to snag a hug before running out.

“What?! What was that for?!” He straightened out his waistcoat, smoothing it out and trying to regain any lost pride. “Ahem. Get on out of here, Pink Girl.” Stephanie paused and tilted her head, giving him a thoughtful look.

“Thank you a lot for helping me, Robbie.” She smiled brightly and moved in to hug him. He made more protesting sounds but patted her head awkwardly while she hugged him.

“Shoo, go. Don’t want Sportaworry wondering where you’ve got off to.” He slowly pushed her forehead with a finger until she backed away giggling.

“Okay Robbie. Bye!” She ran off cheerfully and Robbie rubbed his forehead.

Once his lair was absent of any children and noise whatsoever, he plopped down on his chair in exhaustion. The fae groaned and tried to massage his headache away. The blow up mattress was looking _awfully_ inviting...

Robbie stretched luxuriously and laid there for god knows how long, dozing lightly and drifting in a haze of pain from his head and back. He eventually got up again and stretched, slowly to avoid a spike of back pain, before going to take a long, boiling hot, _luxurious_ shower and down several ibuprofen.

By the time Robbie was all comfy cozy in his favorite PJs, headache abated enough that he'd probably be able to sleep, he was halfway asleep standing up. He sighed and collapsed into his front in a pile of blankets and pillows on the air mattress.

Robbie was just starting to completely pass out when a loud peal of echoed laughter filled his lair.

“What?!” He jolted awake, eyes blinking and then yelped. Robbie fell face first back into a pillow and let out a scream of frustration at the spike of pain in his back.

It took a minute before he realized what had kept him from falling asleep.

The children. Were playing. _Soccer_. Probably their last game before the day ended.

Robbie _screamed_.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robbie just love ur kids
> 
> Anyways. Didn't exactly intend to do that last part but it's not a Robbie Centric fic unless Robbie Suffers(tm)
> 
> Dunno exactly when the next part will be up, I'm mostly absorbed into my dragon au rn


	6. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Robbie's past and why the fuckle he ended up in LazyTown 
> 
> A wild Glanni appears!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yanno if it weren't obvious by now I'm a bit of a potty mouth and I project that onto Robbie a lot (Which actually, tbh, gives me an idea)
> 
> Anyways yall have been!!!! I'm just!!! I love you all. I squealed at over 200 kudos and 1k hits. I know I don't respond to comments much but a lot of my responses to you guys is essentially very loud incoherent screams
> 
> Seriously I love you all thank!!!
> 
> EDIT: I totally forgot an entire section of the kiddos interacting over in chapter 3 and I just updated that to correct it! Thanks!

_‘This is the tiniest, laziest town I've ever seen. What the fuck does Glanni even do here?’_

Those were the first thoughts Robbie had when he first came to LazyTown. Eventually he learned about the elf his brother had been ~~flirting~~ fighting against a few years back and all was understood. Glanni could never turn down a challenge.

The elf liked to visit this particular town quite often and so Glanni did too. They didn't get in long complicated chases often anymore, too much effort when they both knew neither would win, but it was the centerpoint of a game they still played every now and then. It made Robbie gag at how _companionable_ it seemed. His brother was a full blooded fae! The elf and him should be tearing each other apart, not almost being actual _friends_.

* * *

_‘This town is perfect.’_

That was his _following_ thought about the pathetic town; regardless of his brother's shenanigans. Silent, out of the way, nearby woods, and Glanni was thoroughly distracted by that elf hero. Distracted often enough to only pester him _part_ of the time, whenever he was even in town in the first place.

* * *

_”Robbie Robin Robbie, you're sick again?”_

_A younger Robbie Rotten laid curled up amidst a bed of flowers. He opened an eye and groaned._

_“I'm sorry sorry sorry feel sick tired sore.”_

_The fae laughter and commotion died away as the long feathery figure knelt by his side, the endless party drifting away where they would not bother the human child of one of their own._

_“Oh sorry never meant I want you to dance and play and sing and laugh but sick sick my poor child.” She brushed the side of his face with a hand and sighed, flower petals rustling up in great, gentle billows._

_Robin had always been a sick child. It was strange to the fae, who rarely were ill, that one with fae blood running through him was such a frail and unsteady child. He ate their food and did not fall under the spell normal humans would, yet he was always hungry and often could not eat enough to sate his hunger as they did. Eventually he stopped eating bit by bit until he was thin and shaky._

_His mother did not know what to do. Her child was ill and often could not join in their revelry and endless games. He'd been raised by his mostly human father as a babe until the man had perished in a battle and his mother had taken him to live with the fae. She was sorrowful because she had lost a mate before and now lost this one as well. She did not wish to lose her youngest child._

_“Thought I was better felt better Glanni came visited food human food.” Robbie flicked a flower petal off of his lip and sighed. “Felt better stronger stomach hurt but_ **_okay_.** _” He was about to cry and the frustrated tears welled up in his eyes until his mother took his face in her thin hands._

_“Human food better helped?” She hummed and beautiful music drifted through the air._

_Robin nodded and leaned his face into her hands. Glanni was one of the fae who spent more time out of their realm among humans rather than with his own kind. He visited sometimes, bringing human foods and oddities that filled all of the fae with glee._

_Robbie in particular loved it when Glanni brought back machines for him to play with. Glanni was sometimes strange to his young half brother, who had grown up mostly with the fae after his father died, but they both still enjoyed spending time together. Even if that time was usually spent bickering and arguing._

_“Rest rest child idea may help you may be better soon Glanni return.” She smoothed down his hair and he fell into a restless sleep._

* * *

Robbie had been in this town for a month, fixing up Glanni’s old lair in between bouts of nausea and intestinal pain. It was amazing what a little change in diet could do.

As a child he'd been unable to subsist entirely on the pure sugar foods fae did, because his human half needed more to survive on. His fae side was likely the only bit keeping him from dying of malnutrition.

Then they'd found out the bad thing about his mixed heritage.

Glanni had brought in deadly fruit once he'd been informed of their findings, saying that humans needed it to be healthy and surely Robbie's human side needed them? Their mother had watched in worry and fretted as he ate the poison and they'd all panicked when Robbie was almost instantly overcome with debilitating stomach pains. The fruit was almost deadly to any with fae blood, but his human side saved his life.

Robbie didn't like the tradeoff. He thought death would almost be better than the sheer pain and discomfort the “healthy” foods gave him. Regardless, once the pain had passed, Robbie couldn't deny that he didn't feel as empty and hungry as normal.

It was a long battle against his own body as Glanni came and went with various human foods and they tried to find _something_ he could eat that would balance discomfort and nutrition with his mixed heritage. Robbie sometimes just wanted to give up and waste away to nothing, because starving was almost better than the constant sickness. His mother and the rest of their glen refused to let him.

Nowadays he was constantly sick and still tired more often than not, but he wasn't the sort of bone weary _exhausted_ that came with extended starvation.

Robbie eventually decided that the best thing for him to do would be to move into the human world himself. His mother was distraught, but he'd convinced her that it was for the best. It would be easier for him to be able to get edible food and manage the unpleasant side effects if he lived among the humans. He would even visit often and bring gifts back to everyone like Glanni did. In fact, he'd probably visit _more_ often, because Glanni was so caught up in messing with humans that he could go a long time without ever visiting home.

* * *

_One step into the dark, musty hole and Robbie felt at home. Glanni’s tastes were darker than his,_ **_his_ ** _father had been Unseelie, but the underground cavern simply radiated with the faint echo of a fae’s presence._

_Glanni had stayed here often. Not for long periods of time, and he never considered it a Home even if it was His, but he'd returned time and time again and his presence had built up over that time._

_This was a fae residence and it helped the sharp ache of homesickness in Robbie's chest ease a bit._

_Then he sneezed, dust kicked up just by walking around, and rolled his eyes. Glanni hadn't cleaned this place up in_ **_ages_** _._

 _Robbie rolled up his sleeves and felt the tingle of magic through his fingers. With food that actually gave him_ **_some_ ** _energy he could finally use magic somewhat reliably._

_Time to clean this place up enough to actually live in._

* * *

”Hello, Robin~.”

Robbie groaned. “You _know_ only Mom can call me that.”

Glanni materialized out of the shadows, his makeup and clothes as immaculate as ever. Robbie didn't even look up from his blueprint for a machine that could bake cakes all on its own. He'd been trying to get it to work since he didn't really have enough human money to buy cakes every day. Buying ingredients to put in the machine would be cheaper. On that note, maybe he should learn how to bake cakes himself…

“I like what you've done with the place.” Glanni hummed, looking around. “Of course your interior design skills could use a little work.”

“I'm still getting used to the _concept_ of interior design.” Robbie snarked, unsure off why Glanni was even here. He would have known if the elf was in town. “Hard to know how to decorate when you've grown up sleeping in flower beds.”

“Indeed…” Glanni was not paying him any attention, eyes roaming the renovated cave. Robbie didn't know _why._ His jerk of a brother crashed there every time he was in town. Something about Glanni’s look was unnerving him. “Funny, that you took My hideout and made it Yours.”

Robbie stiffened. “It's not- oh fuck.” He groaned and rubbed his forehead, trying to think back to when he'd - apparently - claimed the place. “It's not- I didn't _mean_ to-”

“Relax, Robbie~!” Glanni laughed and Robbie gave his half brother an unconvinced look. “It wasn't _really_ Mine so I'm not _pissed at you_ for claiming it. In fact I think it's great that your fae heritage is finally acting up and doing something _worthwhile_ other than _slowly killing you_.” Robbie rolled his eyes, but was still tense with nerves. Glanni was up to something. “And for that, I'll treat you like any other fae that took something that's Mine.” Glanni grinned and showed off a plethora of fangs. Robbie gulped. “Come on little brother, you're going to have to fight me to prove it's _Yours_.”

Oh he was so fucked.

* * *

He was surprisingly not as fucked as he thought he was.

* * *

Robbie collapsed into his armchair, covered in scratches, bruises, and _maybe_ a dislocated shoulder. Glanni had left (in significantly better condition than Robbie was). This hole in the ground was _His_.

Robbie groaned and rubbed his face, flinching when he poked a nasty darkening circle around one of his eyes.

“Glanni you fucking _dick_. I didn't even really _want_ this shithole.” He swallowed dryly and sunk deeper into his chair.

Something in Robbie was singing gleefully at managing to hold off a stronger fae from His property, regardless of how much he consciously wanted this place. He buried his face in his hands helplessly. _Fucking_ fae instincts.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like ending chapters with Robbie's suffering
> 
> My favorite thing about this chapter is that I can skip the effort of writing an action dueling scene and claim it as a humorous writing technique and it actually works
> 
> Robbie is pain
> 
> I am actually projecting a lot of my own intestinal issues onto Robbie, because I can, and because it fits very nicely into my hc universe I've created here. Fae can only eat sugar, while eating the fruit of plants is basically poisonous to them. Elves are the exact opposite, though they're moreso like dogs with chocolate. Sugar can only actually kill them if they eat like their entire body weight but it can definitely hurt them in small amounts.
> 
> It's pretty difficult dealing with chronic physical and mental illnesses and then have an eating disorder slapped on top, especially when said eating disorder doesn't come from wanting to be skinny, but because you literally cannot eat. Sorry Robbie, you're my guinea pig here.
> 
> I actually wrote a oneshot about this (with human Robbie tearing into Sportacus over it, lolz) based on a rant I went on over on tumblr: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9494252


	7. Sportacus Has a Thought and Momma Glaepur Knows Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally the title. Oh, and Stingy has an allergic reaction. Sportacus is... suddenly aware of things he was previously aware of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I'm uber sorry this took so long, but here we go! *throws hcs at a wall and hopes they stick*
> 
> Brief warning for nondescriptive/gorey burns in this chapter
> 
> NOTE: I totally forgot an entire section of the kiddos interacting over in chapter 3 and I just updated that to correct it! Go read it for cute kids! Thanks!

The day after the children’s late afternoon soccer game was brutal for Robbie. The sheer frustration of being kept awake seconds away from nirvana played on repeat in his mind late into the night far longer than he wanted to be awake for.

He didn’t really _blame_ the children for deciding to play one last game before bed, they were _kids_. Sitting around focusing so diligently (or not so diligently, in some cases, and Robbie was proud of both sides) on boring schoolwork had left them full of energy they usually bled off bouncing around with Sportaridiculous. He’d noticed them literally hopping around a bit before leaving his lair.

(And he also couldn’t truly get _upset_ at them, not now, not after the realization that they were His brats. He was still ignoring that to the best of his ability. Yep. Not gonna think about it at all.)

At ten o’clock in the morning Robbie was woken by happy shrieks and calls for the resident hero, the children starting up their usual games. Robbie turned over on the blow-up mattress and screamed into a pillow until he was about to suffocate. _Why_ did he have to have video-audio surveillance set up _everywhere in town?_

...Right, His Town, blah blah, responsibility, making sure everything’s okay, keeping a close eye on Sportalame, blahdy blah…

Around noon when Robbie finally felt semi-rested due to constant dozing he rolled out of bed, careful to not stretch his back too abruptly. He took a look through his periscopes and checked that everything was alright before going to make some coffee and get ready.

The fae had a plan to put in place. Not one to bother Sportanut (though actually, he’d have to think of something to deal with the elf…) but he had preparations to make. Leaving Territory wasn’t easy for a fae.

After packing ongoing inventions into some semblance of order and cleaning out his fridge (he had no idea how long he’d be gone, and ‘dealing with’ the sweets in there was a nice treat) Robbie got dressed into one of his fancier casual outfits. First stop: Níski mansion.

The Níski family would continue to watch LazyTown in any absence of his; as per one of the Deals they had made with him over the years. If Stingy were there he would’ve demanded a souvenir and Robbie would’ve scowled and told him no and in the end Robbie probably would’ve caved and brought something back for the brat.

He decided to walk through town on his way out, enjoying the pleasant day and reassuring himself that everything was fine. He passed nearby the kids in the park on his way to the edge of town. None of them noticed him except for Sportajock, even in the middle of some sort of… running game. The elf gave him a surprised look and a small smile. Robbie rolled his eyes and kept going.

At the end of the road, past a parking lot for the picnic/camping part of the woods, Robbie stopped and took a deep breathe. The air was fresh and earthy; the smell of new soil and foliage.

He took one step off the path and disappeared in a swirling flash of fallen leaves.

* * *

 Busy with bracelet making, the children were enjoying the sunny day and sitting outside in the park. It was one of their favorite places to play or relax depending on the agenda for the day. Which today happened to be Sportacus showing them how to braid flowers and strings into friendship bracelets.

Stephanie, in the middle of blending a red, white, and pink mess of strings, looked up at the others when a thought came to her. Something had been bothering her for a few days and she finally pinned it down.

“Have you guys seen Robbie since… the other day?” She said. She didn’t want to mention what they’d been doing since Robbie had told her not to tell Sportacus unless he asked.

“Yanno, now that I think about it, no.” Trixie looked up at Stephanie, fingers stuck in her masterpiece of twisted strings and crushed flowers. “Pixel? You usually talk to him all the time, right? You heard anything?”

Pixel didn’t bother looking away from his screen, trying to look up patterns he thought were interesting. He’d already made several and wanted something more complicated to try. “Yeah, we talk sometimes, but we haven’t talked since that day. I can try sending a message though. Dunno if he’ll respond, he tends to just answer whenever he feels like it.”

Sportacus quietly observed the conversation, feeling like he wasn’t being told something. He didn’t ask them what it was only because even if it was impolite to keep secrets, it was even worse to break them. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a few secrets of his own that he hadn’t told the kids. (He felt guilty enough about it that he wasn’t about to be hypocritical and get onto them for hiding things.)

The fact that the kids not only made bargains with Robbie but Pixel, at the least, talked to him on a regular basis made him sigh. Robbie was fae, and it made him anxious to know the children interacted with him so much. But he _knew_ somehow that Robbie would never hurt them and once Sportacus made himself ignore the initial spike of nerves, it was so _obvious_ that he cared about them. Even if the fae might be reluctant to admit it.

With the kids so close to him, Sportacus wanted to be friends too. But Robbie was just too paranoid and reclusive to even form a casual friendship. Sportacus wondered if they’d get along better were he not an elf…

“Don’t bother, he’s been out of town.” Stingy sniffed. The children all turned to look at him. Even from this small act it was somehow obvious that Stingy was the foremost “Robbie Expert”.

“Really?” Sportacus was surprised at how confident Stingy sounded and the fact that Robbie would _leave His Territory_ with an elf he considered a problem (if not outright enemy) lingering around. “Did he tell you where he was going?” When had Robbie even left? The other day, when Sportacus had seen him walking by in a rather… flattering… outfit? He’d nearly tripped in the middle of their game when he saw the fae walking by.

“Visiting family.” Stingy seemed somewhat mulish about this. “He didn’t say when he’d be back, just said it’d be a few days or a week or something. _My_ mom and dad wouldn’t say anything else.”

“It’s hard to imagine Robbie with family.” Stephanie said. “Not that he’s really a bad guy, but…”

“He’s probably that weird uncle who shows up to family reunions and makes everything _weird_.” Trixie joked and giggled. Stephanie shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Stingy, do your parents know Robbie very well?” Sportacus asked and tried to not sound like he was prying. Stingy knowing Robbie was one thing. His _parents_ were another situation entirely.

“Yeah.” Stingy shrunk in on himself, twisting his bracelet in progress uncomfortably. Every time Sportacus talked to the 10 year old he would do this. Sportacus always thought it was just because he was shy of adults.

When Stingy didn’t elaborate Sportacus smiled and let it drop.

“Hey, why don’t we put some good luck charms in?”

* * *

 

“Robin! Robin!” The feathery figure swirled around him, too vague for any mortal eye to see correctly. Robbie looked his mother straight in the eye without a problem. “Child Yours when come wish to see Grandson.”

“For the last time, Mother, Stingy is not my _son_.” Robbie groaned, much less insistently than he’d done the last time he’d visited, which was why this was the fifth time she’d asked him the past however-long-it-was he’d been home.

His mother’s light skittery laughter rippled through the air and he sighed. At least she was speaking English, since he found it more convenient to speak than the enigmatic and ethereal language of the Fae. Barely understandable English, but at least she could _speak_ it. Unlike most of the Vale.

“But Yours Yours is he not?” She shimmered mischievously and Robbie regretted Ever telling her about that. “Even one of us if barely. Wish him to come visit wish to see him.”

“Mom, he’s so barely fae it’s not feasible for him to visit a _vale_ and leave unaffected. And I severely doubt his parents would be willing to let a fae galavant their son off to the forest. They would think he wasn’t going to come _back_. And he might not!” Robbie threw his hands up, snagging a passing crystal flower and nibbling on it grumpily.

“But many spells to allow, may come. He is invited if he so wishes if you may take him.” She stroked his cheekbone and hugged him loosely. He hugged her back tiredly. Annoyed he may be, he still missed her. “You might not, brother will if I ask him. I would bet he is willing.”

Robbie groaned pathetically among her tinkling laughter. His mother _knew_ Stingy had been begging to visit the vale for years, ever since Robbie had made the mistake of mentioning it. And goddamnit, she was _right_. If she asked Glanni to bring Stingy the little shits would both be perfectly fucking gleeful to do it. If only to aggravate him, on Glanni’s part.

Trying to shrug off an uncomfortable feeling of foreboding as the thought of Glanni and Stingy ever meeting, Robbie leaned into his mother’s embrace.

“Don’t wanna talk about this.” He mumbled.

She smiled and nodded and shone like a brilliant, glittery night light. He was home, in his home vale after a long time gone. Now was the time for joy and revelry and food. She pulled him away from the isolated corner he’d wandered into and back through the never ending party. Robbie sighed, rolled his eyes half-heartedly, and smiled fondly as he let her.

* * *

 “Look here!” Stephanie grinned and held up a handful of bits and bobs she’d gotten from her uncle.

“Those will look great as charms, Stephanie!” Sportacus praised. “I especially like the little doggie.” She beamed and ran to go show the rest of the kids. “Make sure to wash those before you guys start playing with them!”

“Okay Sportacus!” She called back. He smiled and shook his head with a smile.

He went back to gently picking flowers (he wanted to show them how to make flower crowns next) until he heard a note of something negative from the group of kids messing around by a tree. Sportacus stood up just in time to realize his crystal was buzzing. No one was in trouble, exactly, but something was _wrong_.

Sportacus sprung into action and flipped over to the kids worriedly, coming to a stop right outside the small circle they’d made around Stingy. The ten year old was backed up against the tree, pale faced and holding his hands to his chest like they hurt.

“Woah now! What’s wrong? Stingy, are you hurt?” He bent down and paused when Stingy flinched. “It’s alright, I just want to see what’s wrong.” Stingy flushed. “Guys, what happened?”

“Stingy was hoarding all the charms and then he just jumped back!” Trixie whined, halfway annoyed and concerned. The others agreed with her.

“Stingy, are you alright? Here, let me see. I promise I’ll try to not make it worse. Did you hurt your wrist?” Sportacus held a hand out tentatively until Stingy slowly showed him his hands. The other children gasped. There were faint pinkish spots on his hands that were slowly getting darker, looking like burns. “Oh no, what happened?” Sportacus gently moved them around, looking closely. “These look like something burned you…”

“I’m uh- allergic, to… stuff…” Stingy swallowed and wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Looking closer, they did look somewhat like rashes.

“But there’s nothing in there except plastic and metal!” Stephanie exclaimed.

“Some people are allergic to certain types of plastic,” Pixel said. “And I’m not sure but I think some people _can_ be allergic to the stuff some metals are coated with.”

“That must be it.” Sportacus said quietly, trying to not make a big scene. He recognized the look of these but it was only a theory. “Here, you guys pick this stuff up and put it away for today,” He slowly guided Stingy into standing up. “I’ll go help Stingy put some cream on these and when we get back we can make flower crowns! None of you are allergic to any flowers, right?” Sportacus joked.

The kids shook their heads and scrambled over themselves telling Stingy to feel better quick as the pair walked away. Sportacus decided it would be best if he took Stingy to his parents. If it was a serious allergy they should have medication, and in any case they should know something had happened.

Stingy was quiet during the walk there (Sportacus didn’t want to pick him up to run there faster, he seemed like he needed more personal space than the other kids) and looked almost nervous when they approached. Come to think of it, Sportacus had never been near Stingy’s house. He’d heard the kids talk about the extravagant Níski mansion plenty of times but somehow he'd never even seen it except from a distance...

“Sportacus? I can go from here-” Stingy froze and looked somewhat shocked. Sportacus was too distracted to notice.

Níski mansion had _fae magic_ running through it. _Old_ magic that had been there for generations. Nothing like a fae residence, just bare traces that he could hardly feel. But unless Robbie was a _lot_ older than Sportacus had thought, there was no way he was responsible for even a portion of these faint, lingering traces.

Fae had been here. In the far, far past a fae had been here and then left. But the building itself had kept the feeling of the fae buried inside. Then another fae had come, and another. But not enough to leave more than a bare _trace_.

“The charms,” Sportacus said quietly, trying not to startle Stingy. “Some of them were iron weren't they?” Those burns weren't EXACTLY an allergic reaction. Rashes didn't spread visibly fast or _literally burn_. He recognized those burns from the time he'd accidentally brushed an iron gate. He'd watched them blister within seconds. A fae, so much more vulnerable to iron, would be burned horrifically. Except Stingy’s were still mostly just pinkish marks.

Sportacus knelt down carefully by the shellshocked child. He didn't want… it made _sense_ , when Robbie was _cautious_ around him. It hurt for the fae to be so callous but it made _sense_. Not very many elves and fae got along. But having a _child_ look so _scared_ of him?

“Stingy, I want you to know that I would _never_ do anything to hurt you.” Sportacus looked him in the eyes softly. “No matter what. I Swore it to Robbie, just ask him. LazyTown is important to me. All of you kids are.” He smiled.

Stingy seemed to slowly unknot and loosen up a bit, embarrassed he'd reacted the way he had. He nodded and Sportacus remembered that his hands were probably hurting a _lot_. “Would you like me to walk you the rest of the way? It's okay to say no.” Stingy hesitated, thought a moment, then shook his head no. “Okay! Just come on back to the park when you're ready. We'll have a pile of flowers ready just for you to make a crown out of!” _Now_ he looked interested. Sportacus grinned.

Once Stingy hurried down the driveway he flipped up from his crouch and set off at a quick jog back to the other children. He didn't want them to be alone too long after that kind of scare.

* * *

 Robbie appeared in a blast of windblown leaves at the roadside, five days after he’d left. He took a deep breath, slowly walking out of the treeline and into the sun. He closed his eyes and sighed gratefully for the warmth of the sun. It was a bit breezy.

See, this was why he didn’t take anything with him when he visited home. He had no idea what sort of state he’d be returning in. At least he’d managed to knick a blanket.

There was a choked noise and Robbie sighed again, chin hitting his chest. He looked up and pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders. Robbie gave the sputtering Sportacus an imperious glare, as if walking around at the edge of town one woven blanket away from butt naked was a normal thing.

“A-ah! Um-!!” The peculiar shade of red he was turning made Robbie snicker internally. Sportacus looked away quickly, pulling his hat down over his eyes much to the fae’s amusement. “I-I didn’t know w-when you’d be uh, back? H-how was your trip?”

“Very lovely and _very_ none of your business.” He took the moment to brush a hand through his unkempt hair, dislodging some leaves and flower petals. Robbie used a small pulse of magic to straighten the curls out as he did so. His mother liked it down and he liked it that way somewhat too, but when he wasn’t with her he preferred it up in its slicked back look. At least in the vale it was easier to get the inevitable debris out when his hair wasn’t sticky with gel.

“Ah- um, sorry..!” Sportacus squeaked. Robbie hoped his surveillance was still recording, because he _needed_ to have a memoir of getting that sort of noise from the bothersome elf. It was _adorable_. ...hilarious. It was _hilarious_. “I’ll just? Leave you to getting home???”

Sportacus did a rather crisp about-turn before sprinting away. Odd. Robbie had expected a flip. He shrugged and snapped his fingers. Time for a thorough check of everything that had happened while he was gone. With a poof of smoke he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending was slightly inspired by this post here: http://sportacock.tumblr.com/post/155937719769/what-are-your-thoughts-on-faerobbie-i
> 
> Also, my sister actually was allergic to certain fake metals as a kid. Her ears would swell and get infected horribly even if she kept the earrings religiously clean.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I mentioned there's a vague plot I'm working towards that maayyy or may not go towards a good ending or bad ending
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Hmu @ohdearwerescrewed on tumblr! I'd love to chat


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